Guidelines to
writing your wedding vowsWhen
creating your own vows, start by writing down answers to the following
questions. Doing so will give you a valuable source material and help
you develop the vow you're looking for.
How do you, as a couple, define the
following terms?
Love
Trust
Marriage
Family
Commitment
Togetherness
How did the two of you first meet?
List any shared hobbies or other mutual
interests you have.
What was the single most important event in your relationship? (Or, what was
the event that you feel says the most about your development as a
couple?)
How similar (or different) were your respective childhoods? Take a moment
and try to recount some of the important parallels or differences.
Is there a song, poem, or book that is particularly meaningful in your
relationship? If so, identify it.
Do
you and your partner share a common religious tradition? Identify it.
If you share a common religious traditions, is
there a particular scriptural passage that you find meaningful? Identify it.
Why did your parents marriages succeed or
fall? what marital pitfalls do you want to avoid? what can you take from
your parents examples, good or bad?
Take some time to reminisce about the course of your relationship.
When did you first realize that you loved each other? When did you first say
the words? what trials and tribulations has your love had to overcome? What
shared memories are you most fond of?
How do you and your partner look at personal
growth and change? what aspects of your life together are likely to change
over the coming years? How do you anticipate dealing with those changes? How
important is mutual respect and tolerance in your relationship? When one of
you feels that a particular need is being overlooked, what do you feel is
the best way to address this problem?
Do you and your partner have a common vision
of what your life as older people will be like? will it include children or
grandchildren? take this opportunity to put into words the vision you and
your partner share of what it will be like to grow old together.
What do you love about your partner? why?
What was the first thing you noticed about
your partner?
