Congratulations on your new grandchildren. You
are right in thinking that a unity candle doesn't work well at an outdoor
event. The only way to make it work is to not light the side candles early.
Instead, have the bride, groom, and each child light their candles just before
lighting the center candle. The center candle will need to be enclosed in a
hurricane glass. If the group surrounds the candle, so that they make a human
shield against the wind, they might be able to get all of the candles lighted
at the same time. Be sure that they have several books of matches (a
hand-held butane lighter doesn't look that nice during the ceremony,
particularly if it should appear in the pictures).
If the children regularly visit their father and
his desire and your daughter's is to create a family together when the
children are there, then a family medallion ceremony could be done. However,
if the two boys are old enough to be ushers, they are probably too old for a
family medallion ceremony.
It is not uncommon to simply recite a vow to the
children rather than doing anything else. In this case, your daughter would
make a pledge to the children to love, support and encourage them and help
them to grow to become mature, responsible adults.
Best wishes to all of you.
Glenna Tooman, ForeverWed.com Wedding Consultant