|
During my sister's wedding ceremony, she would like for
me to deliver a 3-4 minute speech reflecting on our past and talking about
her and the groom. Any suggestions/wording advice for an insightful and
well-received speech?
The most important elements of a good speech for this sort of
occasion
are:
forethought
preparation
discretion
honesty
humor and/or sentiment
I will attach an excerpt from a message I sent another person recently
on this subject, and I think it will give you some perspective. Also,
be sure to look over the ForeverWed.com speech pages. There is a lot of
information there.
http://www.foreverwed.com/speeches/index.html
Will you be giving the speech during the ceremony rather than the
reception? This is unusual. If so, then, in addition, you will want to
keep your speech a little more serious-- and if it will be in a church,
keep that in mind in choosing your subject matter. I think that a
degree of restraint in your speech would be appropriate in that case.
Also, think seriously about the length of the speech if it's during the
ceremony. Will others give corresponding speeches? Or are you the only
one? If others will speak, or if there will be unity candle ceremonies,
readings and other "events" besides the actual vow ceremony, consider
keeping your speech a little shorter.
If you are the only one to speak, then try to make your comments
reflect/concern *both* your sister and her husband-to-be as equally and
complimentarily as possible.
In a speech during the ceremony, you'd also want to make your comments
contribute to the ceremony itself, by talking about their abiding love and the
importance of this day/ceremony in taking them to the next step, next level,
start of their future together.
Good luck with your speech, and best wishes to your sister and her
husband-to-be. I hope that they will have a long and happy marriage.
Sara Ambarian --Staff expert-- Foreverwed.com
author of "A Bride's Touch: A Handbook of Wedding Personality and
Inspiration"/
creative consultant/custom bridal designer
mailto:sara@foreverwed.com
For more wedding information:
http://www.foreverwed.com/~sara
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Know what you will say beforehand. And bring notes. You may or may not need
them---and it's really nicest if you don't *have* to read them word for word--
but even if you do, if you've written a good speech, the
genuine quality of what you say will be more important than whether you
read it or memorized it.
This *is* sort of a performance, in a way, but in one sense it's mostly
between you and the bride and groom, with others looking on, and
hopefully agreeing with your sentiments. So don't add in a lot of worry
and expectations about how you'll sound, how you'll look, what others
will think.
Write a speech that comes from your heart and expresses your love and
best wishes, and MEAN IT, and you're pretty much assured of a good
reaction from the people who matter most.
Often it's helpful to the guests if you start with a sentence or two
about who you are, how long you've known the bride and groom, etc. Even
if you know her family fairly well, there may be guests who will not
know or remember this. Sometimes it gives you an easy way to start, too.
Where you go from there depends on your personality, the couple's
personality, the number of other people (if any) who will be making
speeches, the size and intimacy of the guest list, etc. But here are a
few ideas, and you can see where any of them take you.
~ Consider using an anecdote about the couple-- some really sweet or
funny or characteristic event-- to show why you're so happy to see them
wed. Part of the purpose of the speech is to reinforce your happiness
for them and your support of them as a married couple. But don't get
tooooooo personal. Sometimes friends know stories that couples really
wouldn't want to have told in front of extended family and other wedding
guests. So always use discretion.
~ Consider using a famous quote in your speech. There are many wonderful
quotations and short poems about love, marriage, happiness, contentment, the
future, etc., which can make a nice basis for a wedding speech. I don't know
what kind of thing would be appropriate for your speech, but look on-line (you
can start on my quote page
http://www.foreverwed.com/~sara/quote.html ) and at your local library
(a good librarian can help a LOT!) Even something really short (actually
this is often better) can sometimes inspire you to a nice little speech.
You'd say the quote, and then relate it to these two people. Some
quotes, too, are better as closing parts of the speech. You might find
one that works that way, too. In that case you just use that as your
parting thought.
~ No matter what you say, only say the truth as you see it. For example,
don't say this is the finest and happiest couple you've ever known if
you don't feel that they are. If they are a couple with some
difficulties, then stress your good wishes for their future instead. And
this is a good example of a time when your momma was right.... "if you
can't say something nice, don't say anything". At least stick to
hopeful, gracious, happy comments overall.
~ The exception to the "don't say anything" above is if the couple has
been through horrible rough times and now is doing wonderfully. You
*could* perhaps make a mention or allusion to the hard times, but your
*focus* should be on this wonderful day, and everyone's hopes for a
happy future.
~ Remember that sometimes "less is more". For example, if you feel that
this couple is the happiest you've ever seen, you can say that, but
don't go on and on.
~ Keep your comments fairly short. I can't give you a time in minutes,
but just don't go on and on. Think of what you want to say, and try to
get to it pretty directly. Do speak "attractively", but not
repetitively. Sometimes that's a tendency, especially when we're not
used to speaking publicly. I always end up editing out a lot of what
I'd planned to say when I first write a speech. When I look at it in a day or two it's much easier to see where I really need to "cut to the
chase".
~ Relax and enjoy the opportunity and honor of speaking for and to this
friend on such an important day. I imagine that, like most brides and
grooms, she's not expecting you to deliver the next "I have a dream..."
oration. I think she'll be happy if what you say is sincere and
supportive and enthusiastic.
|
