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I am the maid of honor in my mom's wedding. I will have
to give a speech at her reception. What should I focus the speech on,
what should I mention and not mention? I'm lost as to where to start!
Lots of people feel as you do when faced with a wedding speech. It's an
important occasion-- and usually something most of us are not used to
doing-- so it's normal to be a little nervous.
I will attach below some basic guidelines about speech-writing which I
recently sent to another visitor. I think it will give you some ideas.
If you have additional questions, feel free to contact me or Foreverwed
again.
Best wishes to you-- and much happiness to your mother and her groom.
Foreverwed.com Expert-- Sara L.Ambarian
author of "A Bride's Touch: A Handbook of Wedding Personality and
Inspiration" /creative consultant/custom bridal designer
mailto:sara@foreverwed.com
For more wedding information:
http://www.foreverwed.com/~sara
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MY BEST FRIEND IS GETTING MARRIED FOR THE SECOND TIME., I WAS ASKED TO GIVE A
SPEECH AT THE RECEPTION, HOWEVER I'M NOT GOOD AT THAT! I WANT TO BRING TEARS TO
THE EYES OF THE BRIDE BUT NOT QUITE SURE WHAT TO SAY, AND I DON'T WANT TO RAMBLE
I can understand your concern. I have to speak in public fairly often
professionally now, but it still makes me nervous beforehand. I'm okay
once I get started--and actually usually enjoy myself very much-- but I
worry and worry as I'm preparing. That's natural.
It's also sometimes worse when you feel it's such a special and
important speech... like this for your best friend. Of course, you want
to make it a really meaningful and memorable speech!!!
Not rambling is actually pretty easy, so I'll address that first.
Know what you will say beforehand. That will keep you from standing up there and babbling. And bring notes. You may or may not need them---and
it's really nicest if you don't *have* to read them word for word-- but
even if you do, if you've written a good speech, the genuine quality of
what you say will be more important than whether you read it or
memorized it. This *is* sort of a performance, in a way, but in one
sense it's mostly between you and the bride and groom, with others
looking on, and hopefully agreeing with your sentiments.
So don't add in a lot of worry and expectations about how you'll sound,
how you'll look, what others will think. Write a speech that comes from
your heart and expresses your love and best wishes, and MEAN IT, and
you're pretty much assured of a good reaction from the people who matter most.
Also, remember, it's in your favor that at weddings people (especially
the bride) are *ready* to be inspired and touched. They are in a highly
emotional state anyway, so bringing a tear to most brides' eyes is not
that hard.
As for the actual speech content, that's a bit up to you.
Often it's helpful to the guests if you start with a sentence or two
about who you are, how long you've known the bride and groom, etc. Even if you
know her family fairly well, there may be guests who will not
know or remember this. Sometimes it gives you an easy way to start, too. Where
you go from there depends on your personality, the couple's
personality, the number of other people (if any) who will be making
speeches, the size and intimacy of the guest list, etc. But here are a
few ideas, and you can see where any of them take you.
~ Consider using an anecdote about the couple-- some really sweet or
funny or characteristic event-- to show why you're so happy to see them
wed. Part of the purpose of the speech is to reinforce your happiness
for them and your support of them as a married couple. But don't get
too personal. Sometimes friends know stories that couples really
wouldn't want to have told in front of extended family and other wedding
guests. So always use discretion.
~ Consider using a famous quote in your speech. There are many wonderful
quotations and short poems about love, marriage, happiness, contentment, the
future, etc., which can make a nice basis for a wedding speech. I don't know
what kind of thing would be appropriate for your speech, but look on-line (you
can start on my quote page
http://www.frazmtn.com/~ambarian/quote.html ) and at your local library
(a good librarian can help a LOT!)
Even something really short (actually this is often better) can
sometimes inspire you to a nice little speech. Off the top of my head, a
nice love quote I thought of is--- "They gave each other a smile with a
future in it." (Ring Lardner) With something like this, you could talk
about both the smiles they were sharing and the commitment they made to the
future that day. Do you get where I'm going with that? You'd say the quote, and
then relate it to these two people. Some quotes, too, are
better as closing parts of the speech. You might find one that works
that way, too. In that case you just use that as your parting thought.
~ No matter what you say, only say the truth as you see it. For example,
don't say this is the finest and happiest couple you've ever known if
you don't feel that they are. If they are a couple with some
difficulties, then stress your good wishes for their future instead. And
this is a good example of a time when your momma was right.... "if you
can't say something nice, don't say anything". At least stick to
hopeful, gracious, happy comments overall.
~ The exception to the "don't say anything" above is if the couple has
been through horrible rough times and now is doing wonderfully. You
*could* perhaps make a mention or allusion to the hard times, but your
*focus* should be on this wonderful day, and everyone's hopes for a
happy future.
~ Remember that sometimes "less is more". For example, if you feel that
this couple is the happiest you've ever seen, you can say that, but
don't go on and on.
~ Keep your comments fairly short. I can't give you a time in minutes,
but just don't go on and on. Think of what you want to say, and try to
get to it pretty directly. Do speak "attractively", but not
repetitively. Sometimes that's a tendency, especially when we're not
used to speaking publicly. I always end up editing out a lot of what
I'd planned to say when I first write a speech. When I look at it in a
day or two it's much easier to see where I really need to "cut to the
chase".
~ Relax and enjoy the opportunity and honor of speaking for and to this
friend on such an important day. I imagine that, like most brides and
grooms, she's not expecting you to deliver the next "I have a dream..."
oration. I think she'll be happy if what you say is sincere and
supportive and enthusiastic.
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