When is the father of the bride expected to give a toast
- at the rehearsal dinner or the reception? Also at what point does he
do it at the event?
Actually, the father of the bride (or the groom)
doesn't have to give a toast if he doesn't feel comfortable doing so.
No one should be put on the spot to do something if they might be
embarrassed or the fear of having to do it will ruin their enjoyment of
the reception. This includes the maid/matron of honor and the best man
as well. There is no set number of toasts that have to be given, nor do
you even need to include toasts at the reception. Traditionally, the
maid/matron of honor
and the best man give toasts and the fathers may, but today you can do
whatever your attendants and the dads feel most comfortable doing. It
is also appropriate to ask someone other than a dad to give a toast,
such as a grandfather, if he would rather do it.
The time that a toast occurs at the reception depends on where you live
and the type of meal being served. In some areas of the country, the
toasts are given first before the meal is served. This most often
occurs when a sit-down dinner is served and you are waiting for everyone
to receive their food.
In other areas of the country where buffet meals are more common (which
is the case where I live), the toast is usually done at the same time
that the cake is cut. You can cut the cake first, then do the toasts,
or do the toasts and then cut the cake. Both usually occur around the
cake table. We then go into the first dances while the serving staff or
others finish cutting the cake.
If your father would like to give a toast at the rehearsal dinner, that
is fine too. Be sure to only serve a minimal amount of wine or beer at
the rehearsal dinner, as you want everyone to be at their best the next
day.
Glenna Tooman, ForeverWed.com Wedding Consultant
