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I need help planning an
informal second wedding (I'm a widow & he's been divorced
twice)--plus I am a Presbyterian & he is a Unitarian
Universalist. I want traditional & he wants to write our
own vows. I don't want any of the traditional trappings.
No special wedding dress--no bridal party--no wedding
cake--no "first wedding" traditions.
Thanks for writing. Your idea sounds
lovely and personal. The first thing to do is choose just the right
location to create the wedding the way you want it to be. You will also
need to decide who you want to perform the ceremony. It is fine to have
two pastors do it, one from each of your denominations, as long as both
are willing to work together. If you decide to use two, you should
decide in advance which one will give you the vows and what the other
one will do, perhaps a welcome and prayer.
You can wear whatever you want to. It
might be a gown, a sundress, or anything in between, depending on how
formal you want the wedding to be. One of my son's friends got married
(first marriage for a young couple) at a family picnic. She wore a
white cotton dress and he wore slacks and a shirt and tie. After
everyone had eaten, they stood up and had the ceremony. It was perfect
for their personalities.
You don't need to have a wedding party,
but you do need to have two individuals who are over 18 to sign the
marriage license. Choose who you want to sign, then let them know in
advance. They will be honored that you chose them. If either of you
has adult children, they would probably love to sign the license for
you.
For your vows, how about writing them
yourselves and incorporating traditional wording with some additional
vows to each other.
You don't need a wedding cake either. You
might choose to serve another dessert, or serve individual bite-sized
desserts. Couples often do that at receptions and they are always
popular.
Today, you can do just about whatever you
want to, as long as you keep it tasteful. I'm sure you will have a
lovely and very personal wedding day.
Glenna Tooman, ForeverWed.com Wedding
Consultant
Other articles in this category
Getting Married...
Second Time around
• Second
Marriage FAQ
•
2nd Time around • The
significance of a train
•
Post Wedding Receptions
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