The Rehearsal Dinner
by Kathryn Lemmon
Over the years, the rehearsal for a wedding
ceremony has actually become two separate events, a practice session and a
dinner party afterwards. Here's a primer on the rehearsal dinner.
Who: The rehearsal dinner guest list
should include immediate family, (parents and siblings) wedding-party members
and any spouses and significant others and the parents of any child attendants.
You should invite the officiant and his/her spouse to the dinner, as well. If
you have out-of-town guests who have already arrived for the wedding, you can
invite them to the dinner portion of the evening. On the other hand, if you'd
rather the rehearsal dinner be an intimate affair, but don't want to leave other
guests hanging, think about doing the rehearsal two nights before the wedding
day, on Thursday for example. That way you could have a party for the
out-of-town guests on the Friday night.
What: The wedding rehearsal and the
dinner which follows is a practice party traditionally hosted by the groom's
parents, but these days can be hosted by anyone. Although a formal rehearsal of
the ceremony is not mandatory, most officiants will want to take a quick a run
through the service with the bride and groom, their parents, the wedding party
and any readers/singers. The officiant will want to give everyone their cues for
the next day.
After the rehearsal, everyone gathers for a
celebration dinner, where the bride and groom are "roasted and toasted." In
addition, the dinner provides an excellent opportunity for the bride to hand out
her attendants thank-you gifts. The couple should present their parents (or
anyone else who was an important part of the wedding process) with a token of
appreciation. Numerous toasts are usually part of the rehearsal dinner.
When: Generally, this event is on the
eve of the wedding, however it could be anytime during that day, as in morning,
noon, or evening.
Where: Ideally, you should do the
rehearsal at the wedding site. It would be especially valuable if there are
children in the wedding party. Sometimes however, the requirements of the site
do not make a rehearsal feasible. A rehearsal can be done in someone's home, or
in just about any large space.
Why: Primarily this is an opportunity
to practice and become familiar with the ceremony site. But the rehearsal dinner
also lets your two families get to know one another in a more casual atmosphere.
In this setting, the bride and groom are under less pressure and have more time
to chat with relatives.
How: Begin your rehearsal by calling
the entire wedding party together. Line them up in the order they will stand
during the ceremony. If you are missing one or several members, don't be overly
concerned. Just be sure to line everyone up and leave a space for the missing
person (s). You can ask those who are on either side of the missing person to
cue him or her the next day.
Once everyone knows where they are to stand,
practice the Recessional. Bride and groom leave first, followed by any children
in the wedding party (first flower girls, then ringbearers) then, maid of
honor/bestman, followed by pairs of bridesmaids and groomsmen. After the wedding
party has "recessed" the immediate family members should follow.
After practicing the Recessional, regroup to
practice the Processional. By this time everyone knows where they are to stand
and who they are next to.
One of the best things about a rehearsal
dinner is how relaxed it can be. From a pool side barbecue to a formal sit-down
affair, there are no hard and fast rules for the rehearsal dinner. While the
excitement and stress of the big day may loom before you, this event lets you
enjoy quality time with loved ones.
message
boards
;)
;)
;)
;)
;)
;)
;)