We are having our reception in our church's Fellowship Hall, but we cannot have our dance there (because of music/noise issue and Sat night service will be held at that time next door) therefore we were thinking of having it down the street at a hotel - but I don't think we will be able to afford to rent the room, the DJ, Beverages (we are having it completely non-alcoholic so we probably should pay for all the beverages) and to decorate a second place - is it possible to just have 1/2 an hour of slow songs at the reception after the meal (Bride and Groom's song, Bride and my father, wedding party etc) then end it with tossing the bouquet? or would this be tacky? (I thought people wouldn't stay as long at the dance since we are not serving alcohol anyway)

Trying to plan and pay for a second location does seem costly as well as probably unnecessary.

If your church rules are not against music/dancing, only against noise and disruption of the Saturday services--- and if you really want to
have the minimal dancing you describe-- that would probably work out okay.

However, at a lot of weddings, dancing really isn't all that necessary or appropriate, and you'll need to think through how dancing fits into
both the logistics of your location and your reception mood/expectations.   To do dancing well, you need music loud enough to
hear easily in a hall full of people (people absorb sound), and you need an ample space to dance in.

Many times in this sort of location the space is better used seating and feeding guests than in creating a dance floor (especially for a very
limited amount of dancing.) And also, it's sometimes easier to provide background music which is soft and non-offensive in a church setting,
than dancing music.  It's a matter of judgment and priorities.

You are right that a non-alcoholic reception tends to run a little bit shorter than one which serves alcohol.  I think this is because alcohol
adds in a "party" atmosphere, and certainly having real dancing with the alcohol does provide more "activity" for guests.

On the other hand, a non-alcoholic reception without dancing or other entertainment does not need to be boring.  As I  recently wrote to
another bride who was planning a wedding reception in a church facility:

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The things that *generally* make a reception memorable to guests are:

~ FOOD and beverages, first and foremost, and that it is sufficient in
both quantity and quality
~ overall atmosphere/mood
~ feeling comfortable and well-hosted
~ personal moments, such as speeches, time with the bride and groom, conversations with other guests
~ decorations
~ then things like location or activities (including dancing and such), but these are much less important to most guests, from my experience.

So I suggest you think through these issues and items a bit to try and find a balance that will be appealing to you, your families and your
guests-- and appropriate for the logistics and rules of your location.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I find that by concentrating on good food and gracious hosting, most couples can please the majority of their guests without too many
contrived events or other entertainments. So keep that in mind as an option if dancing seems too awkward.

My biggest concern with your plan of having only a few specific dances is that guests who would like to dance may feel disappointed when the
music stops early.

I have seen a couple wedding receptions where only the bride and groom and parents danced those "special" dances, and at a couple of them, it
felt sort of awkward to me and some other guests.  But I know that they chose to handle the situation that way because the bride/groom and
father/daughter and mother/son dances were very important to them, and circumstances made having a full dance inappropriate or impractical.

I also wonder if there's any chance that even the limited dancing would be considered disruptive by the church.  Make sure that you are clear
with the staff on that one way or the other.

I hope that these comments are of some help to you.  Feel free to contact me again if I can clarify anything I've written here or be of
further assistance.

I wish you both all the best and much happiness together.

Sara Ambarian --Staff expert-- Foreverwed.com
author of "A Bride's Touch: A Handbook of Wedding Personality and
Inspiration"/creative consultant/custom bridal designer
mailto:sara@foreverwed.com
For more wedding information:
http://www.foreverwed.com/~sara

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