My fiancé and his family don't think we should have dancing at our wedding reception.  Are there any Christian ideas you can suggest to help our reception to be  different and not a bore?

This is always a hard question to answer for someone I don't know personally.  Everyone's idea of an enjoyable reception seems to be a little different-- just from their personalities, let alone from any religious values, etc.

Personally, I've never found any wedding reception (or shower or other party) boring or unpleasant, as long as there was an interesting and friendly group of guests, decent refreshments, and relatively comfortable surroundings.  Dancing, toasts, speeches, favors, and events like bouquet tosses are all fine and can be enjoyable, but their inclusion doesn't (to me) make or break a reception's success or
interest.

What will be appropriate and enjoyable in your situation will depend on a number of factors:

~ the personalities and expectations of you, your fiance, and your families ~ the atmosphere you want to create
~ the number of guests and their relationship to one another and to you
~ the willingness of you and your families-- and of the guests-- to mingle and chat
~ the location and physical space/logistics of the reception area
~ the length of time you expect guests to stay at the reception

The things that generally make a reception memorable to guests are:

~ FOOD and beverages, first and foremost, and that it is sufficient in both quantity and quality
~ overall atmosphere/mood
~ feeling comfortable and well-hosted
~ personal moments, such as speeches, time with the bride and groom, conversations with other guests
~ decorations
~ then things like location or activities, but these are much less important to most guests, from my experience.

So I suggest you think through these issues and items a bit to try and find a balance that will be appealing to you, your families and your guests.

As I mentioned, carefully chosen refreshment choices are the best way to ensure your guests enjoy themselves.  The food needn't be fancy or expensive, but it should be appealing and served in adequate amounts. Simple decorations and hospitable details can also improve your guests' enjoyment of the reception.

One easy way to improve a reception's atmosphere, without adding any activity or much expense, is to add recorded background music.  Whether you choose classical for elegance and ambiance, or Christian for meaning, or something else that seems appropriate for yourselves and
your guests, having soft music playing throughout the reception helps fill in any awkward silences in conversation, and adds an element of
mood to the event.

Many reception sites have a stereo system, and if yours doesn't you can often rig something up yourselves.  Several of my clients have recorded specific tapes of songs that were particularly appropriate or sentimental for them. Others have made use of the random mode on CD players, and just put in a selection of harmonious CDs for trouble-free on-going music.

In the end, however, you, your groom, your families and your bridal party are potentially the best and most unique "entertainment" option. I always remind my clients that no matter who pays for the wedding, they and their families and attendants are the hosts of the celebration, and one of the best ways to make guests happy is to make them feel honestly welcome.

Be sure that you try to greet as many guests personally as possible. You won't have a lot of time with any of them, especially if you have a large guest list-- but most guests cherish their chance to personally congratulate the happy couple.  Now that many couples eliminate the formal receiving line, that means that they need to take time from their meal and other activities to "make the rounds" and greet the people who
came to share their day.

If your reception isn't scheduled to last too-too long, just the basic "activities" of one or two toasts, eating, greeting guests, and cutting the cake should fill up the time nicely.  And if your refreshments are to be served buffet-style rather than served to the tables, you can also encourage guests to mingle and move about while they eat, etc., which helps keep them busy and interested over a longer period of time.

I hope that these suggestions help to give you some ideas. Good luck to you both, and much happiness.  God bless--

Sara Ambarian --Staff expert-- Foreverwed.com
author of "A Bride's Touch: A Handbook of Wedding Personality and
Inspiration"/
creative consultant/custom bridal designer
mailto:sara@foreverwed.com
For more wedding information:
http://www.foreverwed.com/~sara

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