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My finance and I are paying for our own wedding and are trying to
keep costs down yet would like something different than the
traditional "ceremony/ dinner/reception". We would like to
have an intimate ceremony and dinner with immediate family only.
Because this means leaving out many of people we would like to
have an evening 'reception' but are unsure of how to recoup our
costs. This reception would include the 'first dance' and cake
cutting - like a normal reception except for the full dinner. We
would be serving food but are unsure what. Can you give me
your advice/suggestions on the above or other different wedding
ideas?
I fully understand the limits of paying for your
own wedding, and also
your preferences in how that wedding will take place.
In a case like yours, you will need to decide what you can afford,
as
well as what you would most like to do, to determine what your
specific
options would be. In my experience, guests' reactions vary when
it
comes to being invited to a reception and not the wedding. You'll
need
to decide if who and what you'd like to include in the evening
reception
will be worth doing-- and affordable-- or if there's some other
more
reasonable and practical arrangement to make.
There is no reason, even if the guests are invited to the wedding
as
well, that you need to provide a full dinner for your guests. If
the
timing is not right at a normal mealtime, you can easily get by
with a
"cake and punch" reception ("punch" referring to whatever
beverage(s)
you prefer, of course) or some sort of cocktail/hors d'oeuvres
refreshments.
By limiting the number of guests (the most important budget-saving
strategy of all), and by limiting the variety of refreshments, you
can
certainly keep refreshment costs down. Limiting
decorations/centerpieces will also keep you in budget.
There is also no reason, actually, that you *need* to have either
a
cake-cutting *or* a first dance. Many weddings don't-- and you
need to think through if these traditions are that important to
you to bring
guests out to see them.
You'll also need to think about the costs/logistics associated
with
this--- location rental probably, some sort of decorated cake
(although
that could be fairly simple and inexpensive, depending on your
tastes
and expectations), and some sort of musical arrangements (which
could be as simple as a portable cassette player, but might be
more.)
I wish I knew a little more about why you are looking at the
arrangement
you mentioned, and what other values/expectations you have about
your wedding. Do feel free to write me back with more about that
if you
wish.
Because in some ways, it seems like it would be nicer and a
more-efficient use of your money to cut the guest list way down to
immediate family plus closest friends (maybe only 20-30 people?)
and
then have this group attend both the ceremony and a more-intimate
dinner celebration. Or, to wed privately and have this smaller
number of
guests at reception/dinner.
Certainly you would miss seeing the wider reception guests, but
every
couple has to decide to stop at *some* tier of family, friends,
co-workers, church members, etc. It's a matter of really thinking
through and prioritizing who you MOST want to share the
day/celebration, how much you want/can spend hosting them-- and
how best you can enjoy them and they can enjoy your wedding.
There are really no-end of other "non-traditional"
ceremony/reception
options. Without knowing you better, it's impossible to really
suggest
much intelligently, but I hope that these considerations help.
Whatever path your plans take, we wish you a wonderful wedding and
lasting happiness in marriage.
Sara L. Ambarian-- staff expert for ForeverWed.com
author of "A Bride's Touch: A Handbook of Wedding Personality and
Inspiration"/
creative consultant/custom bridal designer
mailto:sara@foreverwed.com
For more wedding information:
http://www.foreverwed.com/~sara
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Publisher-direct 40% savings on "A Bride's Touch" -- a complete
wedding
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