Marriage Requirements

What you need to know about getting married.

Can anyone get married to anyone?

You must meet certain requirements in order to marry. These vary slightly from state to state, but often include:

• being at least the age of consent (usually 18, though sometimes you may marry younger with your parents' consent)
• not being too-closely related to your intended spouse
• having the mental capacity--that is, you must understand what you are doing and what consequences your actions may have
• being sober at the time of the marriage
• not being married to anyone else
• getting a blood test, and
• obtaining a marriage license.

Does any state yet recognize same-sex marriages?

As of March 1998, lesbian and gay couples cannot legally marry in any state. This may change, however, as a case is presently working its way through the Hawaii courts that could legalize same-sex marriages in that state. A Hawaii Circuit Court ruled in December, 1996 that denying lesbian or gay couples the freedom to legally marry is unconstitutional. However, the state will not begin issuing marriage licenses to lesbian or gay couples while the case is being appealed to the Hawaii Supreme Court. A decision is expected in early 1998. Even if same-sex marriages are eventually recognized in Hawaii, same-sex couples will be fighting an uphill battle to have their unions honored in the other 49 states. Several states, including Georgia, South Dakota, Texas and Utah have already passed laws designed to thwart same-sex marriages--and others are sure to follow. In addition, the Defense of Marriage Act was signed into law in 1996 barring the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages and permitting states to ignore same-sex marriages performed in other states.

For more information about same-sex marriage, you can contact the Forum on the Right to Marriage (FORM), (617) 868-3676. You may also want to contact the Marriage Project of the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, (212) 809-8585.

What is a common law marriage?

In sixteen states, heterosexual couples can become legally married if they:

• live together for a long period of time
• hold themselves out to others as husband and wife, and
• intend to be married.

These marriages are called common law marriages. Contrary to popular belief, even if two people cohabit for a certain number of years, if they don't intend to be married and hold themselves out as married, there is no common law marriage.

When a common law marriage exists, the spouses receive the same legal treatment given to other married couples, including the requirement that they go through a formal divorce to end the marriage.

See the section on Living Together for a list of which states allow common law marriages.