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Q. I received a wedding invitation in the mail and it is very formal. It came with a reply card (and a stamped, self-addressed envelope). The reply card is mostly blank. In the lower left corner it says, "The favour of a reply is requested before the first of June." This wedding is out of state and is a wedding of a friend from work. Also, this wedding conflicts with another wedding I need to attend locally. If I will not be able to attend, what type of message should I put in the blank area?

A. The traditional formal regret wording is very simple, and there is no need to give any details on the RSVP itself as to why you will not be
attending. All you need to write is:

Ms. Kallie Johl (or whatever your full name is),
(or Mr. and Mrs. [husband's first name] Johl, if you are married and
both are invited)
regret that they are unable to accept
[hosts full names as printed on the invitation]
kind invitation for
[day of the week and date as printed on the invitation]

There is another formal regret which uses the terms "regret that a previous engagement prevents their accepting", but on a standard RSVP
card, I can't imagine you could fit all that! : )

At some later date when you speak to the hosts or happy couple, you can explain your reasons, if appropriate, but just the information above is
all that is necessary on the formal RSVP.

Best wishes--

Sara Ambarian --Staff expert-- Foreverwed.com
author of "A Bride's Touch: A Handbook of Wedding Personality and
Inspiration"/
creative consultant/custom bridal designer
mailto:sara@foreverwed.com
For more wedding information:
http://www.foreverwed.com/~sara

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