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Church
wedding or civil wedding: What’s the difference?
 The
big day finally came. He got down
on bended
knee and asked one of the most important questions of his life.
Now you’re engaged! Congratulations! Now the work begins.
Planning a wedding can present a host of issues and questions
that may have never before crossed your mind.
For example, do you understand all the differences between a
Christian and a civil wedding? If you do, you probably already
have your dress, colors, and bridesmaids picked out, too.
If not, relax. Neither do the rest of us.
The essential difference between a Christian and a civil
wedding lies in the heart of the matter, so to speak, or in
the basis of the union. In a civil marriage, the marriage is,
aside from the wedding ceremony, a contractual agreement,
according to the Rev. Karen Siegfriedt, of
St. Jude the Apostle Church
in Cupertino, Calif.
A civil marriage meets the state’s necessary legal
requirements so that the newly forged bond between spouses
will provide a basis for the exchange of property and will be
recognized in the eyes of the law.
A Christian marriage on the other hand is "a permanent
covenant and sacrament where Christ is at center," Siegfriedt
said. While a civil wedding pronounces the union of husband
and wife before a legal authority, and often family and
friends, a Christian wedding celebrates the union before God.
In addition, a Christian wedding carries the implication that
the marriage is forever, and that the marriage will be
celebrated according to the teachings of the Church.
"The Episcopal Church expects lifelong committed relationships
to be characterized by fidelity; monogamy; mutual affection
and respect; careful, honest communication; and the holy love
which enable those in such relationships to see in each other
the image of God," Siegfriedt said, citing the General
Convention’s
Resolution on Human Sexuality
.
Many faith communities allow only Christian weddings to be
held in their sanctuary. Some congregations may permit clergy
to officiate at Christian wedding ceremonies in other
settings, such as private homes or outdoors, or to perform a
blessing of a civil union, said the Rev. Anne V. Sutherland, a
retired clergy member of the Wisconsin Conference of the
United Methodist Church.
Thus, for Christians planning a wedding, the critical first
step is understanding that a civil marriage ceremony is a
legal contract that conveys all its rights and
responsibilities whether there is a religious ceremony or not.
A Christian wedding is a legal contract as well as a spiritual
pronouncement of the union of a husband and wife.
Once this step has been made, planning can begin regarding
where the wedding will be held and what the ceremony will be
like. Then come the details: who to invite, who not to invite,
what the cake should look like, and well…the list is almost
endless!
Thinking about getting married in the Episcopal Church? You'll
find some helpful background information
here,
courtesy of the Virginia Theological Seminary. It includes the
official requirements for marriage within the Episcopal
Church.
What's an Episcopal wedding ceremony like? You can find the
details
here.
What about the support married couples receive after the
wedding? Take a look
here.
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