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Q. I am getting married in a few months and trying to get the
invitations done. We will be having a "child sitter" during the ceremony at
the church and I am needing to know how to address a letter to those that have
children. Our wedding is going to be very formal and traditional as well as
video recorded. Kids will be invited to the reception. I do not want to
offend those with children, but I also do not want unruly kids at the wedding
its self.
A.
Rather than risk offending your guests by saying too much too soon, it would
be better to simply say on the invitation, "Child care will be provided during
the ceremony." Then, on the wedding day, instruct your ushers, guest book
attendant and any others who will have the first contact with the guests to
greet guests with children and simply say, "I'll direct you to the play room
or the nursery." By making it sound like it is expected rather than a choice,
guests will be more apt to do what is asked. If a guest protests, the person
can say, "I'm sorry but children under age .... (such as 10) aren't permitted
in the sanctuary during the ceremony." They don't have to give an explanation
or say that you specifically instructed them not to allow the children in the
sanctuary.
If the church has a cry room with a window and sound, the older children who
want to watch the ceremony could go in there along with the infants. Be
prepared for some complaints from the mothers of infants who may feel that
they are being singled out. If they do insist on bringing an infant into the
sanctuary, have the ushers instruct them to remain at the back of the room and
tell them that the ceremony is being recorded and they should take the child
to the cry room if they get noisy.
Depending on how many children might come, you may need to have a couple of
rooms available, one for young children and one for older children. The
children will probably appreciate the idea of being with their friends more
than with the parents. You might want to place signs in the church foyer that
are clearly visible indicating that children infants to age 3 go one direction
and those over 3 go another direction.
Be aware that children aren't the only ones that can cause disruptions during
the ceremony and background noise on your video. Any adult who has a cold or
suffers from an illness that causes them to cough, can be just as disruptive
as a child.
Glenna Tooman, ForeverWed.com Wedding Consultant
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