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I have older children boy and a girl and both
are married and I have 3 grandchildren all 3 girls, My fiancée
has a 15 year daughter, I need some advice on how to include
them all and if I have a children's ceremony should I include
my children's spouses?
The bride and groom do not usually recite a vow
to
adult children during the ceremony because the children are
already on their own and will not be living under the roof of
the new step-parent (except the 15 year old). You may want to
include the children in your wedding party, however. You might
have your daughter as your matron of honor and your
fiancé's daughter as a bridesmaid. Your son could be a
groomsman, if the groom agrees, and the grandchildren could be
flower girls.
Another thing you might do is have all of your children and
their spouses make a statement of support of you and your
husband. This is sometimes done by parents and step-parents in
support of the bride and groom, and you could
borrow the idea. When the ceremony begins, the minister
typically asks the bride and groom if they take each other as
husband and wife. This is a statement of intent to marry and
indicates that you come of your own free will. (It goes back to
a time when some marriages were still arranged and
the bride might not want to marry.)
To give a statement of support, the minister would then ask the
children, their spouses, and the grandchildren to stand. He
then asks them if they are willing to support your marriage, to
encourage you, to stand by you in times of trouble, etc. They
all say "we will," then the ceremony continues. This is a nice
way to include the children and to let all of them know that you
value their commitment to your marriage and their acceptance of
the new step-parent.
Glenna Tooman, ForeverWed.com Wedding Consultant
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Christian Bride Wedding Store
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