What happens at Catholic weddings
Written by Mrs. Jacqueline Rapp, JD, JCL, MCL Rapp Canonical Consulting Louisville, Kentucky

One of the most regularly posed questions by brides, both Catholic and non-Catholic, getting married in a Catholic Church is "What exactly happens at a Catholic wedding?"

Weddings in the Roman Catholic Church, that take place in a Catholic parish, come in two forms - weddings held within the context of Mass and weddings held outside the context of Mass. What is the difference? Eucharist.

In a wedding within the context of Mass, the ceremony consists of the Liturgy of the Word (3 readings from Scripture, a responsorial psalm and a homily, generally), the Nuptial Rite (when you actually get married), and the Liturgy of the Eucharist. Basically, it is Mass, just like regular Sunday Mass, with a wedding in the middle of it. That's the easiest way to understand it.

In a wedding outside of the context of Mass, the ceremony consists of a Liturgy of the Word (2 or 3 readings from Scripture, a responsorial psalm, and a homily) and the Nuptial Rite. There is no communion service.

How you choose which wedding you would prefer is a decision best made with you, your fiance(e) and your priest. The law regulating liturgies in the Church, however, is quite clear that for a wedding to take place within the context of Mass when a Catholic is marrying a non-baptized person, the permission of the local Bishop must be received.

More specifically, though, how does the wedding ceremony break down? The following is a list, in order, of how the wedding within the context of Mass will proceed:


[B]Entrance Rite or Introductory Rite[/B]
Procession (can be musical, but the rite has a preference for it being sung as a hymn by the gathered faithful)
Greeting (if this is omitted, the celebration of marriage begins at once with the Mass)
Gathering Song (optional and really not necessary if you sing the processional hymn)
Penitential Rite
Opening Prayer
[B]Liturgy of the Word[/B]
First Reading (must be an Old Testament reading)
Responsorial Psalm (can be recited or sung if you have a cantor)
Second Reading (must be a New Testament reading)
Gospel Acclamation (usually sung)
Gospel Reading
Homily
[B]The Rite of Marriage[/B]

Questions (the priest asks the couple questions about their freedom of choice, faithfulness to each other, and acceptance and upbringing of children)

Exchange of Consent (vows)
Blessing of Rings
Exchange of Rings
General Intercessions (should use the formula as approved by the Conference of Bishops - the profession of faith can then be said after this, if desired - most don't do it)
[B]Liturgy of the Eucharist[/B]

Presentation of the Gifts and Preparation of the Altar (a hymn can be sung here, which is the preferred option, and the bride and groom may choose to present the gifts themselves)

Eucharistic Prayer
Sanctus (Holy Holy - usually sung)
Memorial Acclamation (usually sung)
Great Amen (usually sung)
[B]Communion Rite[/B]
Lord's Prayer (after the Lord's Prayer , the prayer "Deliver Us" is omitted)
Nuptial Blessing
Sign of Peace
Agnus Dei (Lamb of God - usually sung)
Communion Hymn (preferably sung)
[B]Concluding Rite[/B]
Final Blessing (Solemn Blessing)
Dismissal
Introduction of Married Couple (including "the kiss")
Recessional

For a marriage that is celebrated outside of the context of Mass, the rite has the following structure:

Entrance Rite
Liturgy of the Word: 2 or 3 readings with intervening chants
Homily
Rite of Marriage
General intercessions
Nuptial Blessing
Conclusion: Lord's prayer and Final Blessings

There is yet another rite for special circumstances (i.e. the marriage of a Catholic and a non-baptized person). The wedding is part of a Liturgy of the Word(like any other wedding outside of the context of Mass), but the marriage text will omit any reference to the marriage as a sacrament.

People often ask about things like Marian devotions, unity candles and other cultural and customary additions to the Catholic wedding ceremony. None of these things are written into the wedding liturgy, but can be added if they are custom in your area. You should talk directly with your priest about whether additions of custom can be added to your wedding liturgy.

The best way to know what your Catholic wedding ceremony will look like is to attend Mass at the parish where you will be wed and to attend one or two weddings being held there.

Attending Mass at the parish will give you an indication of how your wedding liturgy will be celebrated, given that a wedding ceremony is truly just a "Mass with a wedding in the middle of it."

Also, attending weddings in the parish, months prior to yours, will also give you a more accurate understanding of how weddings are done in that parish. Ask your priest about some weddings that will happen 4-6 months prior to your own. You may want to touch base with the bride(s), just to let her know that you would like to be there to see what she has done with her liturgy, as a courtesy. You can then quietly slip into the ceremony, watch from the back of the church, and take your notes. You will learn a considerable amount this way.

By and large, all Catholic weddings are pretty much the same. You get variance through your choice of readings, prayers and music. As well, there are several variations of procession that are approved by the Church. Adding your own regional or national customs will also make your ceremony very much your own.

Your parish should provide you with appropriate books or workbooks to help you to prepare your liturgy. If not, the two most popular are: "Celebrating Marriage - Preparing the Wedding Liturgy: A Workbook for the Engaged Couple" by Paul Covino, Pastoral Press (tel: 1-800-548-8649), and "Together for Life" by Rev. Joseph M. Champlin,(tel: 1-800-282-1865).