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Bachelor Parties
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Today's stag party ; Modern
bachelor bashes are bucking the old trends
John Thurman has all of the right tools for a
successful bachelor party: a horde of guns, unlimited
ammo, face masks and battle fatigues. Gather 'round,
he'll tell the lucky groom and his mates, it's time to
go to war.
Before you start thinking that today's bachelor party
participants seem to be taking an unnecessary amount
of precaution against possibly unscrupulous strippers,
consider what have been the traditional ingredients
for a stag party: Beer, dirty movies, loud music and a
striptease dancer, right? Well, not exactly. So
drop that blow-up doll and listen up: The stag party
of old is becoming just that - old.
Thurman is the operator of Battlegrounds, a paintball
field on the outskirts of Springfield, where the game
has become an outdoor activity that is rapidly
becoming the norm for bachelor parties nationwide.
Thurman says at least eight groups in the last season
have laid siege on his field, choosing a jousting
jaunt instead of an all-night beer binge.
"If this was around back when I got married six years
ago, I probably would have done it for my own bachelor
party," Thurman says.
Today, more and more men are doing just that. Bachelor
parties are trading in the porn flick for a weekend
golf outing, tossing the exotic dancer for a sports
event. They're throwing out the dank bar or motel room
and reveling in a posh hotel suite, complete with fine
wine, extravagant dinners and even a little gambling
on the side.
"What we're seeing is a moving away from the bars and
strip joints, " says Marc Wheeler, vice president of
marketing for MarryMan.com, a Denver-based company
that, among other things, tracks wedding trends for
the groom, targeting everything from tuxedo fashions
to bachelor party hot spots. "They're traveling more
for bachelor parties and going off to weekend
destinations."
Based on annual nationwide surveys conducted by the
Web site, which is owned by Bridal Magazine, the
company has noticed a definite shift in the type of
activities indulged in by the groom on his last night
of freedom, Wheeler says.
The most popular bachelor party destination? Las
Vegas. The most popular activity? Golf, followed
closely by major sporting events.
"Versus going out to the bars and just pounding beers,
that was my choice," says newly married Scott Long, a
Springfield resident who took in a Cardinals game in
St. Louis for his June 2 bachelor party. The
33-year-old Long, plus 20 friends and relatives,
passed on an all- night beer binge for something
everyone would enjoy. He even turned down a bachelor
party staple - the stripper.
"Yeah, a few of them wanted to take me out to one to
get even for lots of years of punishment to them, but
I didn't want to go," he says, admitting that he ended
up in bed by 10 p.m. "I had no need to go."
Not even the obligatory porn video? "We don't need
porn," he says, laughing. "We have HBO."
Not more than two years ago, though, the highlight of
the bachelor party likely was a lap dance and a beer
blast with the boys. And long before that, the whole
point of a bachelor party began as a last farewell of
sorts. Ancient Spartan soldiers reportedly were the
first to hold what came to be known as stag parties.
The groom would feast with his male friends on the
night before the wedding as a way of saying goodbye to
his carefree days and pledging his loyalty to his
friends. Loyalty still matters, but now where you go
and what you do is considered a bonus.
So why the shift in activities? Besides the exorbitant
amount of time the groom spends, say, explaining how a
dancer's panties wound up in his wallet, Wheeler says
statistics show that today's modern groom is more
mature than his predecessor, wiser and financially
secure enough for a bachelor party that bucks the
old-school stag party trends.
"We're seeing that the groom is slightly older, more
settled down, " Wheeler says, saying the marrying age
for a man has increased from 27 to 29 in the last
decade. "Because of that, they have the financial
stability to do bigger, better things."
When the Web site first sprung up in 1998, the
bachelor party was at it s most primordial. "It was
very much the traditional bachelor party; guys getting
together, smoking cigars, getting a stripper," he
says. "But they're moving in another direction, going
on these outings and hitting these destinations."
Just ask Springfield's Cass Casper about great
bachelor party destinations.
"I've been to other bachelor parties where we've gone
to Myrtle Beach to golf, Lake Tahoe to golf and
gamble, another in Las Vegas," says Casper, who went
to Chicago for his own bachelor blow-out in November
1999. "One time we took a bus down to Tunica,
Mississippi for golf and gambling down there. For all
of those trips, you've got golf as a major part of the
trip. And gambling." And who can forget, Casper adds,
tantalizing meals and great drinks. For Casper, who
hit Chicago with 20 friends for his November 1999
bachelor party, a weekend festivity of games,
football, and oh yes, even a strip joint was precisely
the party he envisioned.
Not that Casper was taking a chance on ending up
watching porn with an armada of drunken cronies in a
buddy's basement. He made the call: We're going to
Chicago. So Casper and a Winnebago full friends
trekked to the Windy City, and the rest is new-age
bachelor party history. Think Bears/Vikings game
history. Not to mention Casper's bachelor party game
of choice, whirleyball, a combination of basketball,
hockey and polo that is played on bumper cars.
"I think, in terms of this trend, these days guys are
waiting so long to get married, you have the money and
your friends have the money to afford that type of
bachelor party," Casper says. "When you' re 21 and 22,
you're not financially in the position to do that."
Still, as Marryman.com's Wheeler explains, while older
grooms have more opportunities for luxurious events,
the younger generation feels the urge to splurge as
well. Which is exactly what Springfield resident
Matt West, 23, did. "I wanted to go somewhere bigger
and with more action," West recalls. So he and seven
of his closest friends went to Chicago on June 9,
nabbed a hotel downtown and spent a majority of the
time at ESPN Zone, playing reality football and
baseball games, leaving the rest of the night and
early morning for clubbing.
What, no stripper? "We'd all done that thing
before, and it wasn't that big of a deal. Nobody
really cared if we did or didn't," he says, adding
that his wife "sure appreciated that we didn't."
Sure, some women see bachelor parties as caveman-like,
chest- thumping wastes of time, but for men, this is
an important waste of time. As Casper says, today's
evolving activity-oriented bachelor parties still have
something in common with the raucous stag parties the
Spartans seem to have held.
"Whatever you do," Casper says, "the most important
thing is having your close buddies there with you to
celebrate."
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