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Family and Wedding Plans
answered by Gayle ODonnellQ.My
family has had a complete fit about our wedding plans. My fiance and I are planning to
run away to Fiji and have a Weddingmoon at the end of December/beginning of January 2001.
(We were engaged while in the Florida Keys this last New Year's Eve.)
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We were trying to come up with a way to televise our ceremony over the
internet for all of our friends and family to watch, and be with us in the comfort of
their own homes. In June of 2001, we were planning on renewing our vows here at our
home in the Chicago 'burbs, and have a reception with a Carribbean theme, including a
band/dance. Not only is my family upset that we are "eloping", and they
won't be able to watch me get married in person, they have told me that no one from my
family is interested in seeing a "mock" wedding. If they can't see the
"real" thing, they don't care to even be at our vow renewal/reception. My
family lives 3 hours north of here. They are having a fit about hotel rooms, even though
we would be paying for all or a portion of the rooms (that gesture hurt their pride, I
found out later). My aunts and uncles, are getting older, and won't travel this far.
Even if my family would show up, we would know that they don't really want to be
here. My "dream wedding" has turned into a depressing nightmare.
This situation has gotten so out of hand, that I don't want to be around them. My
Mother and I cannot have a conversation without it turning into a disagreement at first,
then it usually escullates into an all out screaming match, complete with tears.
She's accused me of always loving my father more than her, I told her to take
responsibility for what is taking place and to quit blaming everyone else in the family
for the problems, that she's created.
My fiance and I have tried, and tried, to come up with a solution that will be pleasing to
everyone, but haven't had much luck. We like our original plan, but have been
willing to try to come up with an idea that will be just as exciting for everyone.
Nothing really compares to our first idea, it could be because of the lack of enthusiasm
from everyone, including myself after all of this turmoil. When I first told my
Mother the original plan, she was happy for us. She thought that would be the best
option for everyone. It was her idea to have a "mock wedding" so everyone
could see me walk down the aisle and my father could "give me away". It
wasn't until my two sisters were at my Parent's house that my Mother called me with the
changed attitude. I have sent one of my sisters a resopnse to her e-mail stating her
and my other sister's disapproval of the wedding plans. My wedding day is a day that
"they have been dreaming of for a long time too." My e-mail response stuck
up for the facts that this is a celebration between my fiance and I. We would like
to invite them to our home to share the day with us and the joy of beginning our new life
together. We didn't make these plans to exclude or hurt anyone, this is what we
wanted to do to make our wedding day special. That seems to be the problem, nothing
seems "special" after all of this anger and frustration. My family would
like us to get married in my home town, 3 hours north. I have tried to explain to
them that I do not want to have our wedding or reception in my old home town, we want get
married/have the reception in my new home town. There aren't any places that have
any meaning to anyone between here and there, we've already tried that. As far as
options, we've made quite a few different brain storming lists, and our results have been
disappointing.
My fiance is absolutely wonderful. No one, including myself, could have ever
imagined that I would be with someone this awesome. My fiance and I were once again
trying to make plans for our wedding day just last night. He confessed that since
all of these issues have surface from my family, it has "taken the wind out of his
sails" on renewing the vows, and what to do for a reception. Do we even have a
reception? Why have a reception if people don't really want to be there? I
have never been married before, he has. His family is fine with whatever we decide
to do, they are just happy that we're happy. I just wish my family could be the
same. I don't know if I should keep trying to get my family involved, or just send
them an invitation, and see what happens. This sure isn't what I thought getting
married would be like.
How do you suggest I handle this situation with my family?A.<--PLACE ANSWER HERE--> Write answer in this space <--End Answer--> |
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