"Here are some practical ways to stay out of trouble:

Don't hesitate to seek godly counsel, either informally from friends or from marriage seminars, adult education classes in Sunday school, your pastor, or a professional.

Relationships go through stages. Expect change. You are not always going to find his anecdotes fascinating and he may someday tire of your personality quirks. The key is to acknowledge that differentness is an inherent strength. That's why you were put together.

Don't keep score. Irritations, hurts and grudges have to be let go. Talk them through, treat them with respect, but then let them go. You can't bring up a litany of stuff that happened six months ago.

Don't expect your husband to meet all your needs. You need girlfriends. Women have different relational needs than men. So join a group for young mothers, or seek out older women who can help you through the stages of life.

Set a hedge of protection around your marriage: don't have private personal correspondence with other men. For example, e-mails should come to a joint mailbox. If I write a thank-you note to the soccer coach, Larry sees it before I send it. 

If your husband is out of town and your neighbor's wife is out of town and your kids have been playing soccer with his kids in the park all day, you still don't go out to dinner.

Make 'my friend,' 'our friend.' If you meet a man through work, and you want to get to know him socially, he needs to meet your husband.

Do not pray alone regularly with a man who is not your husband. Prayer is an extra-intimate relationship. I have seen Christian women get in trouble with this. That spiritual intimacy needs to be primarily with your husband."

Don Harting is an adult child of divorced parents who has been married to his first wife for 13 years.