You're investing thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours into your wedding. But you're worried because your parents' marriage didn't work out, and you're afraid the same might happen to you.

Unfortunately, your fears have some basis in reality. Sociologists investigating the effects of family background on marital stability discovered in 1995 that the risk of divorce for adult children of divorced parents is more than double the risk for adults from intact marriages.

That's the bad news. The good news is you're not automatically doomed to divorce just because your parents did. Many children of divorced parents go on to become happily married. In this article, three adult children of divorce who've managed to stay married for at least 20 years share the secret to success.

The Rev. Harlan Humiston has been married 21 years. His parents split up when he was 8. Today he's 44, pastoring a Free Methodist congregation in Decatur, Ill. and raising six children with his wife Linda.

"Accept what happened to you," Rev. Humiston advises. "Don't try to live in denial and act like your parents' divorce did not have a negative impact on your life. The reality is that your parents' divorce, even if amicable, was a profoundly tragic occurrence and has had deep ramifications. You need to accept that and work to overcome those negative consequences.

"The nice thing about being an adult child of divorced parents in the 21st century is that there are incredible resources available to us. Read everything you can from Christian authors like Dr. Willard Harley, Gary Smalley, Alfred Els and Dr. James Dobson. Children who grow up in a healthy home with both biological parents learn by observing the dynamics of a healthy marriage. You did not receive that opportunity, so you must take it upon yourself to learn the principles of healthy relationships.

"One of the ways that my wife and I did this in the early years of our marriage was to commit to attend some sort of a marriage conference every year. We have attended the Family Life Conference by Campus Crusade three times, the Marriage Enrichment Program twice, the Institute in Basic Life Principles five times, marriage classes, conferences and programs of all sorts. Each gave us valuable insights and tools to apply to our own marriage.